Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness

My First Sermon
(Mother's Day 2012)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

--(Romans 12:9-21)

In doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head?!  Great…that sounds painful!  That’ll show him.    Hmmm…maybe that isn’t what that verse means.  After all, in verse 19 of this passage, we are instructed NOT to take revenge. 

In this passage, Paul is actually referring back to a Proverb (Proverbs 25:21-22) from the Old Testament.  These would’ve been part of the Jewish scriptures in which many of the hearers would’ve been in familiar.  In biblical times, ancient Egyptians had a practice of carrying hot coals on their head in some kind of vessel when they were repentant--when they had sinned, found themselves to be guilty, and turned away from their sinful behavior.   This was a self-punishment.  It indicated a guilty conscience.  It symbolized the person’s desire and commitment to change their behavior.  In being kind to someone, we aren’t putting some kind of curse on them that will catch their hair on fire or cause them pain.  We are leading them to repentance. 

Being kind in this situation can lead to a change of heart.  Sometimes, we never know how our acts of kindness may affect another person.

 

When I think about this, I realize that there are three areas of behavior that are affected when one is granted and embraces the fruit of kindness.  First, we must speak with kindness.  Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

 

My family is here today.  I grew up with 3 sisters…there were four of us.  My poor father.  Dad and Mom met—2 months later they started dating, 2 months later they were engaged, 2 months later they were married.  9 ½ months later, Casy was born.  Susan came 11 months after that!   They waited three years before I was born.  And then Lisa came 4 years later to take away my “baby of the family” status. 

As a child, my sisters and I often had disagreements.  Okay, that might be putting it a bit mildly.  I understand now how that feels as a mother!  Well, at some point or another one of us called another one of us a “pig”.  It didn’t go over well.  I’m sure that the perpetrator was thrilled!  So, this “cut-down” was used again…and then again.   When mom caught on and realized the hurtfulness that we associated with this word, she immediately put a stop to it.  We were NOT allowed to call another person a pig. 

Now, this chain of events must’ve taken place prior to my birth or when I was very, very young.  (In other words, my older sisters are to blame for this!)  Because from very early on, I knew that “pig” was a dirty word and we were not to use it in any other context than referring to a farm animal.  It was the ultimate put-down.  I remember one day a neighbor kid and I got into an argument.  In the heat of the battle, I used the “P” word.  Then I ran into the house just sure that his mom would be calling my mom and I would be in so much trouble for cussing. 

You see, my mother understood the importance of speaking to one another in kindness.  Words, even seemingly innocent ones, can be used as weapons.  I remember asking her about it when I was older, “Why did we all think “pig” was such a dirty word?”  She said, “If in your mind, something you want to say is meant to be hurtful, it IS a dirty word.”  Wise words from my mother on this Mother’s Day.  As I’ve grown older and witnessed passive-aggressive behavior by people who are able to say and do horribly painful things to others in a falsely-innocent way—completely aware of the painfulness of their words, I often think of my mother’s abolishment of the word, “pig”. 

We had a saying when I was young, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but…” (congregation finishes).  What a bunch of bologna.  Broken bones heal.  Unkind words fester.  But, the opposite is also true.  Kind words can heal.  Have you spoken kind words to someone in your life lately?  Maybe this is the day that someone you know needs to hear kind words the most.  Take the time today to make the call, write the note, or visit with a person who needs your kindness today.

Second, we must act with kindness. 

 Has anyone ever asked you, “So you’re a Christian.  What do you believe?”  and wanted a short 1 or 2 sentence answer?  Where do you start?  How do you sum up the Bible in just a few words?  That can’t be done, can it?  Well, Jesus did it.  We call it “The Golden Rule”.  What is the Golden Rule?  That’s right. 

In Matthew 7:12, Jesus says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”  This sums up the Law and the Prophets.  His audience knew what the “Law” and the “Prophets” were…it was the Old Testament, the Jewish Holy Book, the Holy Scripture that the people of Israel had studied since birth…summed up in a short sentence.  Treat people how you want them to treat you.  Kindness.

Rudo, Duncan, Alan, and Annie Grace

On Thursday I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon and evening with four delegates from Zimbabwe who are visiting the Kansas West Conference throughout this month.  We have begun a partnership, a Chibatza, with them.  It’s not about giving them money, it’s about building a relationship with them. 

Their culture highly values relationships.  In fact, Rudo told me that it is appropriate for her to call every woman old enough to be her mother, “Mother”.  Not just aunts and cousins, but any woman she feels close to.  That gives a whole new meaning to “Mother’s Day!”

May 1^st just passed.  Do you remember doing anything special on this day when you were young?   When I was little, I remember picking lilacs all the way home from school on May Day to leave them on the porches of our neighbors.  We would tie them together and write notes to put with our flowers, then ring the doorbell and run to hide and watch them find their surprise.  My neighborhood had several houses with older couples that have all passed away now, but I sure loved them when I was growing up.  Kindness doesn’t usually take much extra effort.  I think it was more rewarding for us kids to leave our May Day surprises than it was for them to receive them. 

Acts of kindness are world-changing.  I’m going to show a video that I think you’ll enjoy.  Notice, in particular, how the beginning and ending are related.   

Did you see the connection?  Did you notice that the kindness displayed did not only affect the person shown the kindness but also people who observed the kindness? 

It’s fun to see what our acts of random kindness can lead to.  Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”  We don’t know what burdens are other people are carrying.  It’s important to not judge…that is simply not our job.   “That kid shouldn’t have been riding on the sidewalk!  Where were his parents?!”  “That hungry man needs to go find a job!”  “I’ll bet that girls parents’ pay for the cell phone that she takes for granted.  What a spoiled brat.”  When you find yourself wanting to pass judgment on a stranger, keep this verse in mind.  He or she might just be an angel giving you the opportunity to show kindness.

What about our acts of focused and planned kindness?  Plans that one puts in place not just on the spur of the moment because one feels good, but because one took time to make arrangements, make sacrifices (financial, time…) and follow-through on a kindness that would make a difference to someone else.  Committing to yard or housework weekly for someone who is ill, taking meals to a new mother, providing care for someone who needs it, planning a celebration...

Even more difficult, what about those who are not kind to us? 

Paul says in his letter to the people of Ephesus, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)  Forgiving is an act of kindness and compassion.  (Angrily) “But they don’t deserve to be forgiven!  They don’t even feel bad for their actions!  They don’t understand how badly they hurt me!”  Neither did you.  Neither did you.  Neither did you.

Finally, and this one actually should’ve been first—because if this one is in place, the others will be there also.  We must think with kindness. 

(Go down the aisle to Lisa.  "Your dress is beautiful!"  Turned to Kristy Foster and say quietly and snidely, "Did you see my sister's dress?!")

("Todd come here."  Turn him around and rub his back.  “There doesn’t that feel good?  "Are you enjoying my sermon?”  Turn him facing me.  Then turn around and wait for my back rub.  Say, "Okay" expectantly.  Todd just looks at me and sits back down.)

Do you see?  A kindness for some reward is not a kindness.   Those rewards come in all shapes and sizes—from simply making yourself feel superior to someone else, to getting some tangible reward--like a back rub.  That isn’t kind at all.  Being kind isn’t a word or an action, it’s an attitude…a lifestyle…a gift…a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Luke 6:43-45:  No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Stored up in the heart!  How do we change our hearts?  Do you remember the beginning?  Kindness...coal...repentance...change of heart.

We can’t transform ourselves into kind people, but the Holy Spirit can.  In fact, if we are truly Christ-followers, the Holy Spirit will!  The fruit of the spirit is not as much a list of things for which we should strive, as a gauge to measure our faithfulness in Christ. 

The fruit is a gift.

That’s the most important thing to remember from this message today.  If you only remember one thing, don’t let it be my husband’s back rub or my story about the word, “Pig”.  Let it be this:  Nothing we do…not loving, being peaceful or full of joy, not waiting patiently...can transform our lives, can save our souls.  After all, even the worst of us can “fake” fruit every now and then.   It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit given to us through Christ’s sacrifice by our Father God that we are transformed, that we truly bear fruit, and that we are saved.  God’s gifts are so awesome. 

(Prayer)

Before I step down, I wanted to quickly share something else that the people of Zimbabwe shared with me this week.  Because of the value they place on relationships, the value of individualism is very low.  Whereas we might say here, “We are, because I am.”  There, they say, “I am, because we are.”  I am so glad I got to share my very first sermon with all of you and this Mother’s Day.  I want you to know that I realize, “I am, because we are.” 

Now...let's sing our closing chorus...

Redemption...a Haiku

Tortured-soul, reckless.

Boastful sin                       

                     drowning                

                                 in shame.  

Sought.                          

                                              Grace.

                          through 

Restored 

I'm not a poet...but this morning I found myself thinking the first line of this haiku in the shower.  As I got around, it continued to haunt me.  Finally I grabbed the nearest piece of paper (a used envelope from Todd's dresser) and began to put down my thoughts.  I would walk away (I was in the middle of putting on make-up, getting dressed, brushing teeth, fixing hair, etc.!) and find myself coming back to the dresser to mark out a word or change a phrase.  

I don't know if it's any good.  Nor do I really care.  It means something to me...an expression of the gratefulness I feel for the amazing grace I don't deserve.  It needs to be recorded as part of this journey.

My First Visit to Asbury Seminary

After a full day of class, lots of great conversation, dinner with some classmates, and some relaxed reading in my room, I decided I needed to find an elliptical machine. 

An hour later I left the gym and walked out of the student union into the cool evening.  Just a few steps down the sidewalk, I realized that I was walking in a sacred place.  I started looking around...and slowed...

It was cool and nearly still.  In the dark Kentucky sky the stars seemed to shine more brightly than they should.  As I panned the campus buildings from one end to the other, I was struck by the beauty of the buildings with the red brick, white trim and columns, lit steeples and well-placed walkway lamp lights.

Finally...I just froze.  With a grateful heart, I just took it all in.

A train whistle blew in the distance.

A slight breeze rustled the remaining leaves of a stubborn tree.

I was completely alone.  And completely overwhelmed by the presence of God.

Scanning back and forth over the landscape and trying to take in every detail of the sounds, sights, smells, and feelings, I wished I could turn on a recorder in my mind so that I could come back to this place over and over by closing my eyes and pushing "play".

The Holy Spirit's stirring within my soul always brings tears...

Thank you, Lord, for the beauty of Your creation, Your blessing on this campus, and Your love for Your people...all people.  Amen.

The Sunrise

Being a teenager is tough.

Over the last couple of months my husband and I have been reminded of all of the pressures that bombard teenagers as we have watched our oldest daughter struggle through some rough times. 

This past week she simply could not face the pressure.  And we had to face the fact that we could not take care of the problems without help.  Immediately doors were opened for a referral, an assessment, and therapy one day after another.  After two months of trying to get in to see someone who could help along with lots of prayer from us and many others, this sudden progress seemed miraculous.

It had been a long week on Friday as we drove an hour away for her final appointment of the week.  No, scratch that.  It had been a long couple of months.  Usually when I drive her somewhere I play her favorite band, McFly, on my iPod.  However, on this morning I chose Bruce Springsteen.  He sang to us as we quietly enjoyed the drive and the music.

As we headed east, the light from the sun started to filter into the sky.  Living in “fly over” country, there were several plane trails streaking in different directions like long, thin white clouds in the sky over a flat landscape that stretched on for miles and miles. 

The first flash of sunlight was brilliant.  As we continued to move eastward and the time continue to tick by, the sun rose a little further.  “Isn’t it beautiful?!”  Honestly, it nearly took my breath away. 

We both watched in awe as a bright orange-yellow globe rose until it was halfway up, peeking at us over the horizon.  “I’ve got to pull over and take a picture!”

A little further in front of us, a dirt road stretched from north to south.  I put on my left blinker and waited on a car to go past before turning off the highway onto the road.  As I was doing so, I was thinking, Why didn’t I just turn right?  I would not have had to wait on traffic and the sun would’ve been right outside my own window.  Tana also noticed and verbalized this thought, “Why didn’t you just pull off to the right?”  I laughed.  “I don’t know!”

We rolled down the window and I snapped a couple of pictures while leaning over my daughter.  Then I turned us around and pulled back out on the highway to head to our destination.

Once we arrived, the doctor called Tana back and I decided to take a look at my new photos.  When I opened the picture, I was awestruck.  That was NOT there when I took this picture!  I waited for Tana to return to me feeling much more peaceful than I had when we walked in the door.

A while later as we prepared to leave, I handed her my phone.  “Look at the picture, Tana, and tell me what you see that wasn’t there when this picture was taken.”

“There’s a cross!” she exclaimed.  “Yes,” I answered.  As a smile lit up her face, I thought God wants us to know that He is here.  He’s with us.  He cares.  And we will get through this with His help.

It’s a sign.  Not just figuratively, but literally.  When I blew it up larger I could tell that it was a road sign that was turned at just the right angle that it looked like a cross in the shadow of the picture.

If I had turned onto a different road, no cross.

If I had turned right, no cross.

If the time of day had been a little earlier or later, no cross.

If the sign had been turned at a little different angle, no cross.

What a strange place for that type of sign.  Have people wondered for years why that sign was on that road out in the middle of nowhere?  Was it put there all those years ago just for this one day…just for this one picture?

I believe in the providence of God.  Everything is going to be okay.

Rob Bell and Universalism

I want to start out by saying that I have learned much from Rob Bell's teaching.  He is engaging and insightful.  The man has been a leader in taking the art of preaching to a new level...one that teaches and also delights the listener.  

This is even more cause for concern over his theological views.

The Bible supports this stance when James says (3:1-2),  "Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check."

Nobody is perfect.  There are times that we get things wrong.  There are things in the Bible that are hard to understand and vague.  Many things are subject to interpretation.  Everybody has an opinion.

However, this is not one of those things.

Jesus taught us that hell is real.  It's a place of eternal torment.  Once you are there, there is no leaving.  We get one shot at life and then we are judged.  If we have chosen a life without God, He loves us enough to grant us what we desire...an eternity without him. 

This is not my teaching.  This is Jesus' teaching.  I have many questions about hell that may never be answered.  I actually hope that most of these answers are never revealed to me.  However, God has revealed the facts above to us all through the Bible.

What I'm sharing here is not special insight that God revealed specifically to me.  It is not vague.  It is not something we have to interpret.  Jesus makes this quite clear.

However, it is not currently politically correct.  This view is not culturally acceptable.  People simply don't want to hear the truth.

"That is not fair!  God would not do something that is not fair!"  Correct.  God is just.  However, we are all sinners so "fairness" would indicate to me that we should ALL pay the price for our sin.  So if we are going to use this view, shouldn't we all go to hell?

"But God is loving!  A loving God would not send people to a place of torment for eternity!"  God is loving.  He is so loving, in fact, that He sent His Son to pay the price for our sins so that we would not have to pay this price.  What a beautiful gift from a loving God!  All we have to do is accept this precious gift through faith in Jesus.

1Timothy 2 tells us that God "wants us all to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth."  He must mourn when we choose to deny Him.  How would you feel if you sacrificed to give your child a gift, and he/she took it and just threw it in the trash?  He loves us all.  He desires that we all choose Him.  And He gives us the free will to decide for ourselves.

(Although I do not want to start a discussion of election here, I will say that I am convinced that God also "chooses" people He will save.  Since the Bible indicates that he wants all people to be saved, the defining factor seems to be faith.  Does faith come through our free will or through God's grace?  I think both.  But we can discuss this at a later time.)

Honestly, as I've listened to Bell's podcasts and also as I read his book, "Velvet Elvis", red flags were raised in my mind.  And I have conveniently dismissed them.  Darn it.  I like the guy.  I like how he teaches!  I love that he loves God and has made it his life's mission to bring more followers to Christ!  I did not want to find fault with him!  Christians get enough criticism without other Christian's pointing fingers at them!

However, Bell should be rebuked for this misleading theology.  In fact, other Christians have a responsibility to call him out...especially on such a foundational issue.

The recent press about his new book, "Love Wins", was not my first inclination that something was wrong, it was the tipping point.  I was finally pushed over the edge...just by the video promo.  Yes, I'll read the book when it comes out. 

In fact, I listen to and read many different teachers that have different points of view.  Even atheists.  I think it is important that Christians hear different perspectives and work to improve their ability to discern with the help of the Holy Spirit.  If we only listen to one side of a story, we never really consider the others sides after all.

So, even after the hubbub started last week, I found myself listening to one of Rob's podcasts on my way to an appointment out of town.  The podcast was on Matthew 25. 

Take a listen.

First of all, Bell misses the point when discussing this parable.  Every commentary I've ever read on this scripture agrees that this story is about those who will not be "ready" when Jesus comes for them.  Bell seems to think being "ready" means something different than I do.  His emphasis is on works while mine would be faith (which, by the way, leads to works).

But he actually goes on to say that grace is for us all. "That's why religion can be so destructive. That's why being a part of a faith system can be so lethal. Because it can ever so subtly teach you, 'Well, if I do the right thing, you know if...I'm moral. I'm righteous. I believe in Jesus.' No. It's grace. It's grace."

What?  Bell equates moralism, self-righteousness, and belief in Jesus?

I agree, being moral doesn't give us grace.
I agree, being righteous does not give us grace. (Well, it would if we could, but we can't, so it won't.)
But, I do NOT agree with the last statement.  Believing in Jesus DOES give us grace.  We are saved by grace through our faith in Jesus Christ!

Those who do not believe do not receive this free gift.  

Rob Bell is preaching universalism.

How dangerous is this?  So what if he's leading listeners to believe that all people will go to heaven?  Why is this a big deal?  At this point, I'm not sure if Bell even believes there is such a thing as hell.  But the rub comes when one considers that Bell is choosing to teach doctrine that is in direct opposition to the teaching of Jesus.  

If Bell has this wrong, what else does he have wrong?  What exactly is Jesus' message to us through His teaching?  Can we rely on a teacher who lacks discernment about a matter that is directly addressed by Jesus to have discernment over more controversial matters?

I believe that God reveals himself to people in His time and in His way.  Maybe God closed Bell's eyes to this truth for a reason, and He will open them now.  I pray that this is the case.  We need engaging preachers to fight to bring more people to the truth of the Bible...

...to the TRUTH of the Bible.

We need teachers who are willing and able to share the truth.  As Bell would ask, "Are you with me?"

Comforts of Home

It's official...tomorrow is my kids' third snow day in a row.  Well, it's actually not the snow that's the problem, it's the temperature.  Wind chills in Kansas are currently dipping down to about -25 degrees.  It's insane.

The kids, however, are giddy!

It's always exciting to have unexpected days off.   They've already enjoyed two full days of lounging around the house in their PJs.

I, on the other hand, always work from home.  But, I've also enjoyed the company of the kids on these bitterly cold days.  There is something nostalgic about these lazy days with the kids that make them special.

This morning as I sat at the table with my laptop and fresh cup of coffee, I considered the fact that my kids were still tucked into their beds...all warm and cozy...sleeping in.  They're warm.  They're with me.  They're safe.

Not everyone is so lucky.

As I sat in my warm home drinking my hot cup of coffee, I tried to imagine spending the night outside with dirty clothes, a coat, and an old blanket or two to keep me warm.  I tried.  I failed.  I simply can't imagine it.

This line of thought led to the next:  What is my responsibility?

The answer is...I don't know.

What I do know is that I can think of lots of excuses for inaction.  There are shelters, right?  I donate to charities that help these people so I'm doing my share.  What could I do to help anyway...bring strangers to my home?!  I don't even know where to find these people!  Yes, lots of excuses.

And even when I start brainstorming things I could do, other issues enter my mind.  After all, there are millions of problems in this world and I only have so much time available in a day.  Starvation.  Lack of clean water.  Loneliness.  Homelessness.  War.  Abuse.  Neglect.  The list is endless, global, and overwhelming.  Pain and suffering are alive and well.

I honestly don't know where to begin.

This is why it's so important that I pay attention to what God is calling me to do.  God has blessed me with specific gifts that will allow me to fulfill a specific purpose in His plan.

To be quite honest, I have not yet figured out my purpose.  No matter.  God knows...and He'll lead me as long as I continue to pay attention.

This world is as close to hell as I ever plan to get.  Sadly, this world is as close to heaven as some will ever get.  All of the issues of pain and suffering I listed above take a back seat to this one fact.

So tomorrow in the warmth of my home with my kids lounging in their pajamas, fuzzy socks on my feet, and something tasty simmering in the crock pot, I will thank God for my blessings.

And I will feel guilty for my blessings. 

Lord, use me!  If not to bring comfort to others in this world, use me to bring Your children to You.  So they can be warm.  They can be with You.  And they can be safe.

In the comfort of Your house.

For eternity.

No Strings Attached

"Ma'am, can I help you out with this?"

"No...I can get it.  Thanks."

Why is this always uncomfortable to me?  As I was walking out to the car, I was pondering this.  It is just awkward to accept "no strings attached" gifts from others.  Dillons' policy says that they cannot accept even tips for helping.  There is absolutely no incentive for them to be helpful, but it's part of their job and they always dutifully ask.

And I always decline. On the few occasions that I have accepted, I felt guilty.

After all, I'm perfectly capable.  There are others who may need help...but not me.

Hmmm...

After loading up the groceries, I headed home.  On the way I found myself thinking, "Now if the kids have surprised me by cleaning the house while I've been gone, THAT would be a gift I could accept!"

Why is that?

Well, they owe me.

Wow...I sound like a great parent.  But you know what I mean. I do things for them all the time--make their meals, wash their laundry, help them with homework, etc.  It would've been a great surprise, but it most certainly would not have been a gift that I was uncomfortable to accept.

No worries...it didn't happen.

But now I was pondering both situations.  What was the difference?

It's simple.  I feel the need to earn my gifts.  With my own kids, I earned the (much wished for) surprise of a clean house but I didn't earn the favors of a grocery-toting kid.

I think the same is true of the free gift of grace we receive from God.

Many simply don't accept it, because they didn't earn it and they don't want to "owe" God.  It just can't be the truth. No other "gods" give away salvation without expecting something in return.

Jesus, however, paid the full-price for my salvation...and yours.  It's free.  Take it!

I need to focus on simply being grateful for this gift...humbly accepting and cherishing it.  Stop with the guilt!  My energies would be better spent helping others see the beauty of this free gift that they, too, can receive.

No strings attached.