Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness

My First Sermon
(Mother's Day 2012)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

--(Romans 12:9-21)

In doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head?!  Great…that sounds painful!  That’ll show him.    Hmmm…maybe that isn’t what that verse means.  After all, in verse 19 of this passage, we are instructed NOT to take revenge. 

In this passage, Paul is actually referring back to a Proverb (Proverbs 25:21-22) from the Old Testament.  These would’ve been part of the Jewish scriptures in which many of the hearers would’ve been in familiar.  In biblical times, ancient Egyptians had a practice of carrying hot coals on their head in some kind of vessel when they were repentant--when they had sinned, found themselves to be guilty, and turned away from their sinful behavior.   This was a self-punishment.  It indicated a guilty conscience.  It symbolized the person’s desire and commitment to change their behavior.  In being kind to someone, we aren’t putting some kind of curse on them that will catch their hair on fire or cause them pain.  We are leading them to repentance. 

Being kind in this situation can lead to a change of heart.  Sometimes, we never know how our acts of kindness may affect another person.

 

When I think about this, I realize that there are three areas of behavior that are affected when one is granted and embraces the fruit of kindness.  First, we must speak with kindness.  Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

 

My family is here today.  I grew up with 3 sisters…there were four of us.  My poor father.  Dad and Mom met—2 months later they started dating, 2 months later they were engaged, 2 months later they were married.  9 ½ months later, Casy was born.  Susan came 11 months after that!   They waited three years before I was born.  And then Lisa came 4 years later to take away my “baby of the family” status. 

As a child, my sisters and I often had disagreements.  Okay, that might be putting it a bit mildly.  I understand now how that feels as a mother!  Well, at some point or another one of us called another one of us a “pig”.  It didn’t go over well.  I’m sure that the perpetrator was thrilled!  So, this “cut-down” was used again…and then again.   When mom caught on and realized the hurtfulness that we associated with this word, she immediately put a stop to it.  We were NOT allowed to call another person a pig. 

Now, this chain of events must’ve taken place prior to my birth or when I was very, very young.  (In other words, my older sisters are to blame for this!)  Because from very early on, I knew that “pig” was a dirty word and we were not to use it in any other context than referring to a farm animal.  It was the ultimate put-down.  I remember one day a neighbor kid and I got into an argument.  In the heat of the battle, I used the “P” word.  Then I ran into the house just sure that his mom would be calling my mom and I would be in so much trouble for cussing. 

You see, my mother understood the importance of speaking to one another in kindness.  Words, even seemingly innocent ones, can be used as weapons.  I remember asking her about it when I was older, “Why did we all think “pig” was such a dirty word?”  She said, “If in your mind, something you want to say is meant to be hurtful, it IS a dirty word.”  Wise words from my mother on this Mother’s Day.  As I’ve grown older and witnessed passive-aggressive behavior by people who are able to say and do horribly painful things to others in a falsely-innocent way—completely aware of the painfulness of their words, I often think of my mother’s abolishment of the word, “pig”. 

We had a saying when I was young, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but…” (congregation finishes).  What a bunch of bologna.  Broken bones heal.  Unkind words fester.  But, the opposite is also true.  Kind words can heal.  Have you spoken kind words to someone in your life lately?  Maybe this is the day that someone you know needs to hear kind words the most.  Take the time today to make the call, write the note, or visit with a person who needs your kindness today.

Second, we must act with kindness. 

 Has anyone ever asked you, “So you’re a Christian.  What do you believe?”  and wanted a short 1 or 2 sentence answer?  Where do you start?  How do you sum up the Bible in just a few words?  That can’t be done, can it?  Well, Jesus did it.  We call it “The Golden Rule”.  What is the Golden Rule?  That’s right. 

In Matthew 7:12, Jesus says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”  This sums up the Law and the Prophets.  His audience knew what the “Law” and the “Prophets” were…it was the Old Testament, the Jewish Holy Book, the Holy Scripture that the people of Israel had studied since birth…summed up in a short sentence.  Treat people how you want them to treat you.  Kindness.

Rudo, Duncan, Alan, and Annie Grace

On Thursday I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon and evening with four delegates from Zimbabwe who are visiting the Kansas West Conference throughout this month.  We have begun a partnership, a Chibatza, with them.  It’s not about giving them money, it’s about building a relationship with them. 

Their culture highly values relationships.  In fact, Rudo told me that it is appropriate for her to call every woman old enough to be her mother, “Mother”.  Not just aunts and cousins, but any woman she feels close to.  That gives a whole new meaning to “Mother’s Day!”

May 1^st just passed.  Do you remember doing anything special on this day when you were young?   When I was little, I remember picking lilacs all the way home from school on May Day to leave them on the porches of our neighbors.  We would tie them together and write notes to put with our flowers, then ring the doorbell and run to hide and watch them find their surprise.  My neighborhood had several houses with older couples that have all passed away now, but I sure loved them when I was growing up.  Kindness doesn’t usually take much extra effort.  I think it was more rewarding for us kids to leave our May Day surprises than it was for them to receive them. 

Acts of kindness are world-changing.  I’m going to show a video that I think you’ll enjoy.  Notice, in particular, how the beginning and ending are related.   

Did you see the connection?  Did you notice that the kindness displayed did not only affect the person shown the kindness but also people who observed the kindness? 

It’s fun to see what our acts of random kindness can lead to.  Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”  We don’t know what burdens are other people are carrying.  It’s important to not judge…that is simply not our job.   “That kid shouldn’t have been riding on the sidewalk!  Where were his parents?!”  “That hungry man needs to go find a job!”  “I’ll bet that girls parents’ pay for the cell phone that she takes for granted.  What a spoiled brat.”  When you find yourself wanting to pass judgment on a stranger, keep this verse in mind.  He or she might just be an angel giving you the opportunity to show kindness.

What about our acts of focused and planned kindness?  Plans that one puts in place not just on the spur of the moment because one feels good, but because one took time to make arrangements, make sacrifices (financial, time…) and follow-through on a kindness that would make a difference to someone else.  Committing to yard or housework weekly for someone who is ill, taking meals to a new mother, providing care for someone who needs it, planning a celebration...

Even more difficult, what about those who are not kind to us? 

Paul says in his letter to the people of Ephesus, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)  Forgiving is an act of kindness and compassion.  (Angrily) “But they don’t deserve to be forgiven!  They don’t even feel bad for their actions!  They don’t understand how badly they hurt me!”  Neither did you.  Neither did you.  Neither did you.

Finally, and this one actually should’ve been first—because if this one is in place, the others will be there also.  We must think with kindness. 

(Go down the aisle to Lisa.  "Your dress is beautiful!"  Turned to Kristy Foster and say quietly and snidely, "Did you see my sister's dress?!")

("Todd come here."  Turn him around and rub his back.  “There doesn’t that feel good?  "Are you enjoying my sermon?”  Turn him facing me.  Then turn around and wait for my back rub.  Say, "Okay" expectantly.  Todd just looks at me and sits back down.)

Do you see?  A kindness for some reward is not a kindness.   Those rewards come in all shapes and sizes—from simply making yourself feel superior to someone else, to getting some tangible reward--like a back rub.  That isn’t kind at all.  Being kind isn’t a word or an action, it’s an attitude…a lifestyle…a gift…a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Luke 6:43-45:  No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Stored up in the heart!  How do we change our hearts?  Do you remember the beginning?  Kindness...coal...repentance...change of heart.

We can’t transform ourselves into kind people, but the Holy Spirit can.  In fact, if we are truly Christ-followers, the Holy Spirit will!  The fruit of the spirit is not as much a list of things for which we should strive, as a gauge to measure our faithfulness in Christ. 

The fruit is a gift.

That’s the most important thing to remember from this message today.  If you only remember one thing, don’t let it be my husband’s back rub or my story about the word, “Pig”.  Let it be this:  Nothing we do…not loving, being peaceful or full of joy, not waiting patiently...can transform our lives, can save our souls.  After all, even the worst of us can “fake” fruit every now and then.   It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit given to us through Christ’s sacrifice by our Father God that we are transformed, that we truly bear fruit, and that we are saved.  God’s gifts are so awesome. 

(Prayer)

Before I step down, I wanted to quickly share something else that the people of Zimbabwe shared with me this week.  Because of the value they place on relationships, the value of individualism is very low.  Whereas we might say here, “We are, because I am.”  There, they say, “I am, because we are.”  I am so glad I got to share my very first sermon with all of you and this Mother’s Day.  I want you to know that I realize, “I am, because we are.” 

Now...let's sing our closing chorus...