Although this time of discernment has been building since Dad succumbed to kidney cancer in May of 2021, I believe that it is the passing of another classmate, Denise Sapp, that has led me once again to the keyboard.
Denise is not the first one of us to be called home, in fact, I'm pretty sure she is the sixth. Within just a few years of graduating we lost Mark Romero and then Thad Swinney. I'm not sure what year Gary Wallace passed away, but it was, again, sudden and unexpected. More recently, Billy Leeper (one of my first childhood friends) died. And with COVID, we lost Leland "Skeeter" Slate.
When I say that my class, Hugoton High's class of 1988, was close. I mean it. At least I felt that we were. I'm one of those who started Kindergarten there and graduated there, working my way through the grades and making memories with each of you along the way.
As I think about those that we've lost, each of them brings special memories to mind. Mark, such a comedic guy, once changed lanes into my pickup, causing some damage to both his blue pickup (remember?) and whichever loud pickup I was driving at the time. It wasn't all his fault. I was passing on the right. Man, I cuss people now who do that to me. We were driving through Moscow and I'm sure he didn't even see me coming up behind him. Both of us had a friend with us. Julie (Dillmon) was my shotgun passenger, as usual. We both pulled over and I looked at the damage and told him not to worry about it. It was fine. No report was filed. No damages were ever claimed. And I never explained to my parents what happened. Most of my other memories of Mark involve laughter and that ornery smile of his.
Thad and I both ended up at FHSU. I moved there in 1990 after learning a little about the harshness of the real world for a few years. When I was going through my divorce, he is the one who came and helped me move all of my and Heath's stuff. During that time, he was a shoulder to lean on. Don't get me wrong...he was dating someone and I was healing from deep hurts. It was a sweet friendship. Thad was also a very funny guy so that makes the deeper conversations that we had even more memorable. And, yes, there was usually beer involved. None of us realized that we were playing with fire when we drank too much.
In late elementary school, my parents started going to square dance lessons. My older sisters and I often participated and mom even made us dresses. Gary's parents also came to these sessions that took place in the big gathering room on the main level of the courthouse. So, from a young age, Gary and I danced. I recently saw a picture that Stacy (Coulter) posted on facebook where Kristi (Allen) and I were both dancing and my partner was Gary. There probably weren't many school dances where Gary didn't ask me to dance at least once. And I always said yes.
As a young child, my best friends were Jimmy Wortham, Billy Leeper, and Terry Rowden. They were the kids at my early birthday parties. They were my neighbors. Jimmy lived two doors down (oh, how I cried when he moved away), Terry lived behind me, and Billy lived across the street from Terry. We had a great neighborhood with the Anderson boys (Ray and Kevin) down the street and the Kossuth boys catty corner from them. The big triangle lot in front of my house was our playground, softball field, and dirt track. My mom shared with me when I was older that Billy had went home one day and told his parents that he wanted to marry me. His dad talked to him about getting a job and supporting a family...and Billy changed his mind. We were 5 years old.
Skeeter is in many of my memories, most likely due to his close proximity to my long-time crush. I remember them walking up to my house one warm summer day to jump on the trampoline - along with Kyle Borger. Leland was involved with youth group, Bible Bowl (oh, the lock-ins!) and our little group that sat in the back of the sanctuary on Sunday mornings passing notes instead of paying attention. But my sweetest memory of him is his heart-felt apology for a falling out that took place in high school.
But now, Denise. One of the girls. A mother. A grandmother. And so very sudden. I guess this one hits closer to home. Denise and Jodi (Barton) were probably my earliest girlfriends. She and I didn't stay real close as we got older and Charla (Dannels) and Janet (Metcalf) became my "Charlie's Angels" cohorts - Kris and Sabrina (respectively). But she did have many, many close friends who, I'm quite certain, could share a book-full of stories about her sense of humor, orneriness, and big heart.
Nobody saw this coming. It doesn't seem fair. But, life isn't fair. Denise's passing brings me to the realization that we are all 53 (or close to it) and not getting any younger. Have we fulfilled our purposes on this earth? Have we made our marks? Have I? Have you?
Friends, none of us knows how much time we have. We never have. But I can assure you, we have less time now than we did yesterday.
Jesus tells a parable in Luke 12:16-20 on which I find myself reflecting.
“The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’
Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.'
But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’" (NIV)
The lesson that Jesus is teaching? Well, you can read it in the very next verse - Luke 12:21. "This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God."
How much time have I spent in my life eating, drinking, and being merry when I know that God has called me to do more? How much time have I taken for granted? Could tonight be the very night that my life will be demanded from me?
Of course it could be. James, the disciple who was the Rock, the Foundation of THE Church, said, "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14, NIV)
Our time is short. It has always been short. If you haven't accomplished what you need to accomplish in this life, then get busy. Take risks. Quit worrying about the things that don't matter. Pour yourself into the relationships and the efforts that truly matter. Embrace each minute of each day as an opportunity to be rich toward God.
What does that mean - to be rich toward God? In the parable, Jesus is talking about material riches. Have we spent our lives in the pursuit of storing up stuff? Of chasing that false god of money that we think gives us security, happiness, and purpose? Or reaching for some other false god that we think will provide us with these things?
Friends, pursue God. Be rich toward God. I can't tell you what that means for you individually. But I think YOU know. He has created you with abilities, talents, gifts, passions, personality, and experiences that are unique to you. And He has, and is, calling you to get it accomplished... not just to sit back while you eat, drink, and be merry.
Whatever it is, get after it. Take a deep breath and look toward your future with clarity and a vision for the impact you want (need) to make on this world. Seek God's guidance and the power of the Holy Spirit for this journey. After all, you can't do it alone.
And we will all be cheering you on.
Rest in peace, Denise. We look forward to being reunited with you... in just a little while.
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